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I’m more of a coffee guy than a tea guy. Black, hot, and strong is my preference. Though I will not turn down a good latte. It’s all good.
Gossip, on the other hand, is not good. It causes strife, spreads like fire, and is something God hates. Perhaps even more tempting than caffeine, today’s worldly culture embraces “spilling the tea” with one another. Though I prefer coffee, I still struggle with wanting a little “T” from time to time. In our Secondary Chapel this week, Church on the Hill Pastor Jason Treadwell taught on our call to “exhort one another daily” (Hebrews 3:13). The process of exhortation encourages a friend to do what is right and can serve as a warning to course-correct when we see them going astray. The heart of exhortation is love. It is a relationship builder. It removes the need to drag others into the mud. Our bond in Christ releases us to love our neighbors as ourselves. We should all desire to be encouraged with the uncomfortable truth at times from a trusted friend when no one else will. Pastor Jason described gossip as a “misplaced exhortation.” Rather than prayerfully considering God’s design to reconcile a challenging situation, gossip is a lazy and indulgent trap. When we catch ourselves complaining to others about somebody, we should hold ourselves accountable to exhortation instead. Should I be having a loving conversation with the other person instead? Are my current words dishonoring one of God’s creation, and persuading someone else to do the same? Exhortation may not apply to all situations. Oftentimes, the situation may require grace, forgiveness, and moving on. But where is the fun in that? Those qualities require maturity. But allowing God’s transformative work in our lives can be so much more fun (and fruitful)! Our current ParentPulse survey initiative is an intentional relationship-building request for exhortation. What should the school be doing that is currently missing? What is the school currently doing that needs to change? That type of vulnerability in a good-willed community, based on trust, pours water on the fire of gossip. Beyond exhortation, the ParentPulse surveys intentionally give even more room for encouragement. What a great model for our lives! The ratio of encouragement and exhortation should lean heavily toward the former. The presence of gossip should trend toward zero. Encouragement and exhortation can be contagious. I know this firsthand. Many of our families are practicing these principles effectively, and I believe it is rubbing off on me! Still, I've got some work to do. The next time I grab a cup of coffee, I will remember to avoid the ugly flavor of “spilling the tea.” I may need some loving exhortation from time to time, though, from my Crosshill friends. If it comes with a hot cup of coffee…even better! I was reminded this week how blessed I am to be an educator at a Christian school. How special to be a small part of a community that puts God first and seeks His will.
Every once in a while, a parent will comment to me, “Oh, I could never have your job!” I take the remark as a respectful compliment (I hope)! I know that it is only with God's grace that His plans come to be. My internal thought to their statement is actually “Oh, I wish you did have my job! I have the best job in the world!” This week in chapel, part of my "job" was to worship alongside passionate Jesus-followers of all ages. What a testimony to see students raising their hands in worship, leading their peers through singing and teaching, and meeting in small groups for prayer and encouragement. It is a gift to have a window into students' lives and to guide them in their growth. If you are anything like me, it is easy to fall into the trap of comparing yourself to others. Especially in childhood, we tend to measure ourselves relative to our peer group. “Why am I so short?” “Why couldn’t I be as smart as them?” “Why don’t we have a car like them?” “Why is my hair so curly?” (or sparse, in my case).
Some comparisons can prompt positive efforts toward an attainable goal. This can actually be a good thing! Observing excellence in others can motivate personal growth that God desires in our own lives. Sometimes I don't know what is missing in my own character until I see it in action in someone else. Even noticing the blessings others experience can help us reflect on our own unique blessings. More often, though, comparisons can expose our discontentment with how God uniquely created each of us. The Bible calls this envy. This week in chapel, long-time Church on the Hill Pastor Bruce Stefanik described envy as “a mingling of a desire for something with the resentment that another is enjoying it and you are not." To put it more plainly, envious thoughts often sound like this: “I want what you have because I’m not content with what I have.” “I want to be who you are because I’m not happy with who I am.” The envy in King Saul’s heart toward David’s greater success led him to anger, fear, and separation from God and others. God had amazing, though different, plans for both Saul's and David’s lives. Yet Saul did not come to grips with the sovereignty of God, leaving him miserable and ineffective. When we allow God to capture our hearts and define our value and purpose, just as He created us, we find the antidote to envy. A mature disciple rejoices with God’s design for their lives, especially when it differs from their human desires. Wanting what others have, or wishing to be who others are, distrusts God’s divine sovereignty. When we rejoice in our strengths and weaknesses, we allow God’s power to take up residence in our lives. Nothing compares to that! On a 2024 high school mission trip in Orlando, Florida, our team of students was divided into two separate groups. The goal was to complete the challenging low-ropes course at the local YWAM campus. The only instructions provided were to find a way to get each group successfully through the circular path without touching the ground. But each group needed to complete it in opposite directions. As I engaged with my group, our competitive nature quickly took over. We wanted to be the first group to finish!
My group attacked the course with enthusiasm. Through good communication and intentional teamwork, we were quickly halfway through the challenges. But one particular obstacle stopped us in our tracks. The gap to the next obstacle was too sizeable. Despite all of our brainstorming efforts, we could not find a way to get anybody across. The other group soon caught up with us, and discouragement set in. Our only consolation was that the other group was also getting dejected. If they couldn’t figure out a way across the obstacle, at least they wouldn’t beat us. Soon, everyone realized that the only way across the gap was if the two groups worked together. Teaming up with someone on each side of the divide, a solution quickly became apparent. Setting aside our competitive nature for a moment, we teamed up with the other group and soon both sets of students were making progress. Then a funny thing happened. One by one, each of us realized that the exercise had nothing to do with winning. The purpose was true teamwork! The initial separation into two groups was not so that we could compete, but in order that we could succeed! This month in chapels, we will focus on God’s design for His children to be United. Speaking through the apostle Paul, His plan for us is to “agree with one another in what you say and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in mind and thought” (1 Corinthians 1:10). Our human nature often tends to lean toward self-centered comparisons, desiring to elevate self at the expense of others. God’s nature is founded upon Unity. Jesus prays over his disciples “that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me” (John 17:21). Through the power of the Spirit, His fruit in our lives guides us to consider others more significant than ourselves. Through our collective faith in God, unity releases God’s character through us, so that the world may come to know Him as well! May we all be United this month to better understand this truth and pursue a community identity that can overcome any obstacles! |
Adam Kronberger
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