As I stationed myself in the school lobby before the start of classes, I overheard two students sharing their struggles with the content of a particular class. As they described the assigned book they were reading, I heard the words “confused,” “doesn’t make sense,” and “I don’t understand” flow from their mouths. My first human internal response was empathy and dissatisfaction. This wasn’t right! How could I make it better?
When my daughter was a child, we bought her a Butterfly Bungalow to track the miraculous transformation from chrysalis to butterfly. After days of waiting patiently, a few creatures began the breathtaking journey of fulfilling their created destiny. But one critter was slow to emerge, struggling to break through its surrounding shell. “Dad, can I help the butterfly get out?” My daughter eagerly asked. Disappointment quickly appeared on her face. “No Honey,” I responded. "It will do more harm than good.” My limited understanding of science perceived that “doing the work” for the butterfly would most likely be its demise, preventing proper development through the strengthening of its wings. As I sat in the lobby listening in on the students’ conversation, I was reminded of this general principle. As parents and mentors, we often want to limit or even eliminate the struggles our children experience. It is good to want students to be successful, and it is wise to provide them with proper support. But this guidance often requires self-control, encouraging them through the struggle rather than removing it. Soon a grin appeared on my face, realizing that these students perceived “academic struggles” were actually the key ingredients for their learning. As Jesus “taught” his disciples over 3 years, He gives us a clear picture of our role as adult guides. Often, he did not remove obstacles or struggles, but rather used them as an instrument to mature them as His followers. Yes, Jesus did often step in and provide amazing relief and even miracles to provide stunning solutions. And while God’s Spirit resides in us as well, a balance is needed to be “Jesus” to our children while also allowing them to struggle at times. These opportunities will prompt them into a greater trust and dependence on God the Father, Jesus His Son, and the power of the Holy Spirit inside of them. So the next time we see our little butterflies struggling to emerge, let’s consider how to ignore the impulse to make it easier. Rather, develop and monitor a safe and healthy “Butterfly Bungalow” for our children to grow, develop, and strengthen through their struggles. With God’s help, they will be transformed more and more into His prescribed image! My wife and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary this past summer. Leading up to our wedding I remember a gift that one of my friends handed to me. It was a notebook he had titled, “Everything I Have Learned about Marriage.” Though only married the year prior, I was excited to receive any wisdom he might have regarding the new journey I was about to embark upon. When the notebook landed in my hands, I quickly fanned through the pages, only to find that every page was blank. My friend smiled at me, his gift speaking to the many lessons that both of us would still need to learn.
Many of us might recognize the phrase, “Christianity is about love and relationship, not a religion about rules.” While I understand and respect the premises behind this statement, I believe it oversimplifies the richness of God’s design for His creation. Over the last 25 years, I have learned that marriage is certainly built on love and relationship. More specifically, this love is revealed through daily choices that elevate the needs of your spouse over your own. While these choices may not be labeled as “rules,” they practically operate like them. Such as, “don’t go to bed angry,” “don’t yell,” “share household responsibilities,” “put the toilet seat down,” etc. These “rules” on their own don’t necessarily make a marriage flourish, but the attitude behind them is a common marker of a flourishing marriage. In the same way, God reveals His design for our lives through His Word. While sometimes called “rules,” His instructions are less about satisfying Him and His arbitrary requirements. Rather, God describes what love can and should look like in relationship with Him. This love is the same unconditional love that He shows for us by sending his Son to the cross. It is the same love that He desires us to not only show Him but demonstrate to others. While my friend’s notebook gift 25 years ago was empty of any practical advice, God’s Word reveals His design for all relationships. God is the author of all love, and it is listed as the first “fruit” of His Spirit who lives inside of us. His Word helps describe practical ways for this love to bubble out of our lives every day. Still, we might sometimes struggle to love God or love our neighbor or even our spouse, under our own power. But through our faith in Jesus Christ, God has purchased us at the cost of His Son’s death and filled us with His Spirit. Instead of the sour or rotten fruit that might flow under our own power, may we daily access the fruit of His Spirit as we love God and love others. During the summer, I often visit my 8 blueberry bushes daily for a fresh, healthy snack. As the summer season runs its course, fresh local fruit is now more absent in my yard and at the grocery store. In contrast to this nutritional disappointment, there is much excitement in this year’s theme for chapel services: The Fruit of the Spirit!
Each month during our 1st-12th chapel, we will introduce a new fruit of the Spirit. God's redeeming presence is the source and power for the ripening of each fruit in our lives. The Greek language used four separate words to describe the word “love.” It is no surprise that in our English language, the word “love” can carry varying degrees of meaning. I love the sound of sprinklers. I love you, Mom! I love my cat Mittens. I love my wife. I love Spicy Doritos. I love my new teammate. Jesus shared how loving God and loving others is the greatest fulfillment of His good design for us. Our love for God and each other certainly must transcend our common and often flippant affections we often ascribe the word “love” to. So how should love live inside of us and through us by the power of the Holy Spirit? The answer is both simple, impressive, and challenging. The love God wants to live inside of us is the same love He has for us. His love for us is unconditional, immeasurable, and wonderful. God’s love for us is best found in the sacrifice of His son on the cross for our eternal benefit. The more we understand and embrace God’s love for us, the greater this kind of fruit will abound in our own lives. Love is a choice we make moment by moment. But it is out of the abundance of our hearts that love plays out according to God’s design. As each of us is filled daily with God’s love, the daily overflow to others only brings glory to Him! |
Adam Kronberger
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