SPILLING THE TEA

I’m more of a coffee guy than a tea guy. Black, hot, and strong is my preference. Though I will not turn down a good latte. It’s all good. 

Gossip, on the other hand, is not good. It causes strife, spreads like fire, and is something God hates. Perhaps even more tempting than caffeine, today’s worldly culture embraces “spilling the tea” with one another. Though I prefer coffee, I still struggle with wanting a little “T” from time to time.

In our Secondary Chapel this week, Church on the Hill Pastor Jason Treadwell taught on our call to “exhort one another daily” (Hebrews 3:13). The process of exhortation encourages a friend to do what is right and can serve as a warning to course-correct when we see them going astray. The heart of exhortation is love. It is a relationship builder. It removes the need to drag others into the mud. Our bond in Christ releases us to love our neighbors as ourselves. We should all desire to be encouraged with the uncomfortable truth at times from a trusted friend when no one else will. 

Pastor Jason described gossip as a “misplaced exhortation.” Rather than prayerfully considering God’s design to reconcile a challenging situation, gossip is a lazy and indulgent trap. When we catch ourselves complaining to others about somebody, we should hold ourselves accountable to exhortation instead. Should I be having a loving conversation with the other person instead? Are my current words dishonoring one of God’s creation, and persuading someone else to do the same?

Exhortation may not apply to all situations. Oftentimes, the situation may require grace, forgiveness, and moving on. But where is the fun in that? Those qualities require maturity. But allowing God’s transformative work in our lives can be so much more fun (and fruitful)! Our current ParentPulse survey initiative is an intentional relationship-building request for exhortation. What should the school be doing that is currently missing? What is the school currently doing that needs to change? That type of vulnerability in a good-willed community, based on trust, pours water on the fire of gossip.

Beyond exhortation, the ParentPulse surveys intentionally give even more room for encouragement. What a great model for our lives! The ratio of encouragement and exhortation should lean heavily toward the former. The presence of gossip should trend toward zero. Encouragement and exhortation can be contagious. I know this firsthand. Many of our families are practicing these principles effectively, and I believe it is rubbing off on me!

Still, I've got some work to do. The next time I grab a cup of coffee, I will remember to avoid the ugly flavor of “spilling the tea.” I may need some loving exhortation from time to time, though, from my Crosshill friends. If it comes with a hot cup of coffee…even better!